Who we are

We’re not here to “build community” or “better ourselves.” We’re here to reclaim the streets from sweaty mobs of LinkedIn-core yuppies, millennial burnout survivors turned jogfluencers armed with $400 Garmins, neon Hokas, and relentless optimism

They block traffic at rush hour. They overwhelm your local coffee shop with 75 identical cold brew orders. They colonize non–happy hour dive bars with their “recovery” IPAs and Aperol spritzes.

And they have the gall to call cardio fun.